The Birds And The Bees

G C G D G I got a suggestion from Hulda my wife D That I tell our small boy the bare facts of life. G So one day I called him in back of the barn A D And I start to begin that most difficult yarn. C I stammer and sputter to find the right words, G D G As I tell him what goes with the bees and the birds. G C "Tweet, tweet" sing the birdies. Bees buzz in the lane, D G But the facts of their love life is hard to explain. G D G "Now, Ole, you've got a cute girlfriend," I said. D "Pretend she's a bird with a bright yellow head. G This girl bird, she chirps at the bird she likes best, A D And the first thing you know there is eggs in a nest." C Then Ole says, "Pop, just between us two men, G D G I am sure that my girl can't hatch eggs like a hen." G I tried to describe the lovemaking of bees. D I sound like a yerk and I'm weak in the knees. G Then I said, "Now, Ole, let me make this clear: A D Don't start this here kissing and smooching, you hear?" C Then Ole says, "Pop, you old son-of-a-gun, G D G How can smooching be bad when it's so darn much fun?" G C "Tweet, tweet" sing the birdies. Bees buzz in the lane, D G But the facts of their love life is hard to explain. G D G Then I told my boy about pollen and trees, D How love amongst blossoms depends on the bees. G Then Ole says, "Don't discuss rooster and hen A D Till I tell you all about women and men." C Then I learned a lot and heard many big words, G D G 'Cause he knew more than me 'bout the bees and the birds. G In school my kid learned stuff of this very sort. D He's read some darn book called The Kinsey Report. G Now, all that I read during my boyhood years A D Was the catalog put out by Roebuck and Sears, C And I was quite shocked just to think they would dare G D G To show beautiful ladies in long underwear. G C "Tweet, tweet" sing the birdies. Bees buzz in the lane, D G And whatever I don't know my kid will explain.