Straight Razor Cabaret

Em In a cafe Am On the Champs-Élysées Em I saw a girl the other day Em I was beguiled Am 'till I saw her smile B7* B7* Em It was a gash across her face Em Am Not long ago she found that she was alone Em So she wandered into a vaudeville show She should have known it'd be bad Am B7* B7* B7* Em She saw the name that it had: The Straight Razor Ca-ba-ret Em Am The first act was a stripper Em And the host looked like Jack the Ripper Am But the audience was dreary B7* B7* B7* B7* B7* And so he slashed them smiles from ear to ear Am He used a straight-razor Em Cause he's a face raper Am* Am Em And there's nothing he hates more than a stick in the mud Am If he tells a joke Em You better laugh until you choke Am B7 Em At the Straight Razor Cabaret Em Am When I went down to Camden town Em I saw a man reading the Bible Am I won't in haste describe his face B7* B7* B7* Em For I might be sued for libel Em Am Not long ago he found that he was alone Em So he wandered into a vaudeville show He should have known he'd be maimed Am When he discovered the name: B7* B7* B7* Em The Straight Razor Ca-ba-ret Am While the strumpet stroked a donkey Em The host juggled five dead monkeys Am But the audience were snobs B7* B7* B7* B7* B7* So he took a knife right to their gobs Am He used a straight-razor Em Cause he's a face raper Am* Am Em And there's nothing he hates more than a stick in the mud Am If he does a trick Em You better laugh until you're sick Am B7 Em At the Straight Razor Cabaret Proceed to 'La' while following this strum pattern Em Am Am Em Em Am B7 Em (repeat 3x if you want to include the accordion and violin solos, just have fun!) Am They call him straight-razor Em Cause he's a face raper Am* Am Em And there's nothing he hates more than a stick in the mud Am Em If he pulls a gaffe you bloody up and laugh! Am B7 Em It's the Straight Razor Cabaret! Am B7 Em It's the Straight Razor Cabaret! Am B7 B7 It's the Straight Razor Ca~ba~ Proceed to 'La' while following this strum pattern Em Am Am Em Em Am B7 Em Em Everybody! Repeat strum pattern while 'La'ing Am B7 Em It's the Straight Razor Cabaret!