If I Had My Druthers

G Don’t you go motherfuckering me boys C G Don’t you go motherfuckering me G Don’t you go motherfuckering me boys A D Don’t you go motherfuckering me G G7 Well I’ll tell you my brother and all of you others C A If I had my druthers I’d be cocksuckered G Don’t you go motherfuckering me boys D G Don’t you go motherfuckering me I’ll be strangled and stripped I’ll be wet noodle whipped Don’t you go motherfuckering me I’ll be chained to the wall and kicked in the balls Don’t you go motherfuckering me I’ll be smeared on the ass with broken glass I’ll be reamed in the rear by a kosher spear Don’t you go motherfuckering me boys Don’t you go motherfuckering me I’ll be plugged by a slug with a date rape drug Don’t you go motherfuckering me I’ll be wined and dined by a sad porcupine Don’t you go motherfuckering me I’ll be seduced by a moose whose reputation is loose I’ll hold the load of a horny toad Don’t you go motherfuckering me boys Don’t you go motherfuckering me