The Self Checkout Shuffle

G Well, I can't afford to pay this month's rent G On cigarettes and booze, all my money's been spent C That letter from the bailiffs it looks quite serious G D G How those people sleep at night is quite mysterious G I've got a payment plan for the electricity G By Christmas I will have paid them off, Christmas 2033 C My Mum gave me a tenner to buy dinner for the night G D G But I put every penny on Black 29 C Now I've got no money to buy food and wine G D G and I'm just hanging out in Aisle 5 C G There's an unexpected item in my bagging area C G I don't know how it got there-ea C G The man is coming over and it's getting scarier C D G I think this machine must be broken. G Now I'm no thief, stealing is really not my style G Those self-checkouts they really drive me wild C I can swap the labels around from the deli-counter G D G I feel a bit like Jesus when I put wine through as water G I can pretend to scan something, make the beeping with my mouth G It doesn't feel wrong because no one loses out C So I was just finalising the details of my plan G D G Filling up my basket with real pork ham C When suddenly I looked up and there was my friend's Mum G D G And in the light of Aisle 5, she looked weirdly attractive Chrous 2 C G There's an unexpected item in my private area C G I don't know how it got there-ea C G Now she's coming over and it's getting scarier C D G I think my morals have broken. G She's looking at my shopping and says "Wow, You must be plush! G I've got a full time job and I can't afford that stuff" C I said "We only ever have 'Taste The Difference' of Course! G D G I never get the basics brands, I don't like horse" G Then I realise she was quite delighted. G All the premium branded food was getting her excited C So she takes me by the hand, I try to explain "I'm just not ready!" G D G But she makes a make-shift bed out boxes of Frosted Shreddies C Half an hour later I'm praying it doesn't turn blue G D G I don't know how I feel about stealing for two. C G There's an unexpected item in her bagging area C G I don't know how it got there-ea C G The midwife's coming over and it's getting scarier C D G But it's nice to know my machine isn't broken