The Prescription Drug Song

G C A D I woke up the first morning and I felt very bad G C A D I wondered if it might have been something that I'd had G C A D So I went to my doctor, a very learned man G C A D G Knowing that he'd have the problem well in hand G C A D He said, 'Fellow my poor fellow, you don't look very up' G C A D 'Could you please give me a cough and pee into this cup?' G C A D He pondered for a minute then he said, 'you've got the flu' G C A D G 'Here take these pills who knows what they may do' N.C. He gave me G Em C A Tylenol and Clearasil and butanol and tennis balls G Em C A And water from Niagara Falls and hormones from Japan G Em C A And vitamins and paraffins and some beta carotines G Em C A G And bits of tuna and dolphin that he got from a can G C A D I woke up the second morning, and felt worse than the first G C A D My head was full of mucus. I swore that it would burst G C A D My skin was cold and clammy and my hands were large and green G C A D G So I went to my doctor his knowledge for to glean N.C. He said G C A D 'Fellow, my poor fellow, what have you done wrong?' G C A D 'If you followed my instructions, your illness would be gone' G C A D I told him but I took everything you gave G C A D G So he gave me some more and told me to 'go away' N.C. He gave me G Em C A Tylenol and Clearasil and butanol and tennis balls G Em C A And water from Niagara Falls and hormones from Japan G Em C A And vitamins and paraffins and some beta carotines G Em C A G And bits of tuna and dolphin that he got from a can G C A D I woke the third morning and found out I was dead G C A D There was six feet of dirt right above my head G C A D My friends were at the funeral saying bye to me G C A D G Then I heard that doctor giving the eulogy He said, G C A D 'Fellow that poor fellow, oh, I should have known' G C A D 'That he would take too many pills when left all alone' G C A D So here I lie forever cursing my sorry lot G C A D G For I'm so full of chemicals that I shall never rot N.C. 'Cause I took G Em C A Tylenol and Clearasil and butanol and tennis balls G Em C A And water from Niagara Falls and hormones from Japan G Em C A And vitamins and paraffins and some beta carotines G Em C A G And bits of tuna and dolphin that he got from a can G Em C A Tylenol and Clearasil and butanol and tennis balls G Em C A And water from Niagara Falls and hormones from Japan G Em C A And vitamins and paraffins and some beta carotines G Em C A G And bits of tuna and dolphin that he got from a can G C G And I won't do that again