The Grandmother Song

C G Be courteous, kind, and forgiving G7 C Be gentle and peaceful each day C7 F Be warm and human and grateful G C And have a good thing to say C G Be thoughtful and trustful and optimistic G7 C Be witty and happy and wise C7 F Be honest and love all your neighbors G C Live in a swamp and be three dimension C G Be obsequious, purple and clairvoyant C G Be sure to stop at stop signs G7 C And drive fifty-five miles an hour C7 F Pick up hitchhikers foaming at the mouth G C And when you get home get a master's degree in geology G7 C Be pompous, obtuse and eat cactus C7 F Be dull and boring and omnipresent G C Look forward to things you don't know about C7 F Put a live chicken in your underwear G C Get all excited and go to a yawning festival C G (Ladies only) Never make love to Bigfoot G7 C (Men only) Hello, my name is Bigfoot C7 F (Everyone) Put a live chicken in your underwear G C Go into a closet and suck eggs