The Fine Print

N.C. This song is about cheating, cheating is wrong it is wrong and everyone knows this N.C. but a lot of people will still do it and they have these sayings, N.C. that make it ok even when its not and this song is about that and its called the fine print G G C C So I just finished a gig and I was chillin with my guitar G G C C This really pretty girl comes up to me at the bar G G C C She goes "great set, can I buy you a drink" G G C C I said "I have a case of VB but this aint happen'en G G C C I already got a girl and im not a whore G G C C she goes "just because he has a goalkeeper dont mean i cant score" Em C then she looked at me smiling, her eyes had a nasty glint Em C and she said "But frenchy frenchy you forgot about the fine print" F C Its not cheating if its in a different post code F G Its not cheating if its with a girl you dont know F C Its not cheating if shes not human F G Its not cheating if you are related to them N.C. C Its not cheating right now N.C. And she made a few valid points i could kinda see where she was comin from so, I fucked her N.C. I felt like I had to she tricked me by logic and I mean me and my girlfriend broke up G G C C First night being single I went straight out drinkin G G C C and a man dances up to me and he goes "you know what im thinking?" G G C C even though you look like an Aryan junkey, do you want to get laid?" G G C C I go "I appreciate the offer but im not gay" Em C He looked at me smiling, his eyes had a nasty glint Em C and he said "But junkie junkie you forgot about the fine print" F C Its not gay if it happens with the footy boys F G Its not gay if you do it watching die hard F C Its not gay if you only doing approving and dont like it F G Its not gay if you high five afterwards N.C. C Its not gay right now N.C. So I fucked him, Well he fucked me i was a bottom who knew N.C. and it was a rough night and the next day I had a wedding N.C. It was my cousins wedding and at the reception my... G G C C auntie comes up to me and goes "take me to bed" G G C C im like "no thank you auntie, im not imbred" Em C My auntie looked at me smiling, her eyes had a nasty glint Em C and she said "But nephew nephew you forgot about the fine print" F C F G Its not imbred if your auntie is barren or if your name is Woody Allen F C F G Its not imbred if it happens in Romania just kidding I ment to say tasmania N.C. C Its not imbred right now N.C. So I fucked my auntie, well she fucked me I was a bottom again who knew N.C. And it was a really weird night that one I went to a big shame spiral so i needed to get out of the city G G C C So i drove down the coast to my friends farm G G C C and i was sitting in the field and his cow comes up to me and goes N.C. "MoooOOOOoooOooooo" and everyone knows in cow langauge that means, I want you to f**k me N.C. and im like im not fucking you you're a cow and bestiality is wrong Em C The cow looked at me smiling, its eyes had a nasty glint Em C and it said "But MOOooo MooOoooO MoooOOOOOoo MoooOOO fine prints" F C Oh its not bestiality if the cow wants it F G Its not bestiality if its just the tip F C Its not bestiality if its in the name of freedom F G Its not bestiality if it happens in New Zealand N.C. C Its not bestiality right now N.C. So i fucked the cow, well it fucked me I was a bottom again who knew N.C. but enough about my awsome life thats finish the song F C Its not pedophelia if its a female teacher F G or just a lesson from your favorate church leader F C Its not racist if you have an asain friend F G its not sexist blah blah blah blah kitchen F C Its not an sti if you cant spell it F G Its not illegal if know one tells C C I fucked a cow, twice