Dear Penthouse

D Bm G A D Bm G A D Bm Dear Penthouse: Im a freshman at a small Midwestern university G A D Bm And I never thought something like this could happen to me G A G A When my teacher with the dynamite a**, asked me to stay after class D Bm And she started to undress G A I cant forget the statement she made G A D Bm A If you drop you pants Ill raise your grade D Bm G A D Bm Dear Penthouse: I never thought those letters were really true until G A D Bm I was on a fishing trip and I met a girl named Jill G A We had a little too much to drink G A I couldnt believe what I was starting to think D Bm G A So we headed to her tent, theres nothing like eating out G A D Though the next morning my breathe still smelled like trout G D Ive read every issue since 1974 G D The first two years behind the bathroom door G D I poured through every Penthouse I could find E A Even though my mom said Id go blind D Bm G A D Bm Dear Penthouse: Im a seaman first class at an overseas naval base G A D Bm Its been seven long months since Ive seen a womans face G A G A When I saw your recent issue, I took a box of Kleenex tissue D Bm And I locked the barracks door G A G A D Thanks to you Ive gotten a grip, please excuse my jerky penmanship G D Ive read every issue since 1974 G D The first two years behind the bathroom door G D I poured through every Penthouse I could find E A Even though my mom said Id go blind D Bm G A D Bm Dear Penthouse: Doing sports on the radio has always been my job G A D Bm Ive never wanted a man until I noticed BOB G A When were close I start to perspire G A His little buns set my loins on fire D Bm G A And I dream about the day hell say, Chick lets get undressed G A D Name and address held upon request