Snazzy Portland

B If you come to California, be sure to wear a rubber B 'cause there's lots of nasty people down there F# they're covered with long blond artificial hair F# they look like shit and they hate it when you stare B But in Portland, happy Portland B everyone is friendly and kind F# E they've got free money down at the liquor store F# E You only have to smile and say "hi!" (Hi) F# E B In Portland, Happy Portland, everything's gonna be fine. Play B for bridge B In Texas, lousy Texas, B you'll be bitten by deadly snakes and bugs F# The fuckers there, they'll mess with you F# they'll rip you off and sell you bogus drugs B But in Portland, stony Portland B You'll be high from the moment you wake up F# E 'Cause we've got the dankest nugs that anybody's got F# E our hydroponic basements overflowing with pot F# E B In Portland, stony Portland, we won the cannbis cup. kazoo! B In Alaska, cold Alaska, B you'll either freeze your nuts off or be eaten by a bear F# The people there, they just don't care F# they drink, drink, drink and the wallow in dispair B But in Portland, snazzy Portland B they put antidepressants in our beer F# E we hardly even notice that it rains all year F# E the cops shoot at usbut we have no fear F# E B In Portland, snazzy Portland, your troubles will disappear.