Painfully Heterosexual

A E G D VERSE I A E You kinky son of a bitch G D I don't swing that way A E I have trouble dealing with my feelings G D I work out all the time, I don't need no AA meetings A E G D So maybe I cry a little more than the average guy A D G A But can't you see I'm painfully heterosexual? A E G D VERSE II A E G D I drive the most badass car you have ever seen A E I only eat things that are manly G Like triple bacon cheeseburgers D Or triple shots of brandy A E G D So maybe I get mistaken for gay kind of often A D G A But can't you see I'm painfully heterosexual? A E G D VERSE III A E G D I can fix my car or my guns with my eyes closed A E I know my way around women G D I go to local dives and all the pretty girls are smitten A E G D So maybe I think Dr. Sexy's kind of ... well ... sexy A D G A But can't you see I'm painfully heterosexual? A E D G VERSE IV A E G D Remember that one time I had a three way? A E There are two things I know for certain G D Bert and Ernie are gay and I'm not letting you die a virgin A E G D So maybe that wasn't my very best seek A D G A But can't you see I'm painfully heterosexual? A E G D A I'm heterosexual A E G D A Come on guys, I'm heterosexual A E G D A Shut up, Sam, I'm heterosexual A E G D G A Heterosexual A E G D A E G D You kinky son of a bitch I don't swing that way N.C. A Except maybe on a Friday