Country Song

C#m Gold-diggin' is a fine tradition— G# C#m The courtship of the purse. C#m But when you wed for greed, you find the vows still read F# G# "For better or for worse." C#m Y'know we've had our share of stresses; F# C#m Guess every marriage has its messes. F# G# Right now, I'd greet them with elation; F# G# Divorce is better than mutation... C#m Y'know, I didn't do nothin' wrong, F# C#m But now I'm living in a country song. G# C#m I don't care who sings it, it was written by Stephen King. C#m The stupid zombies killed the truck, F# C#m My husband ate the dog, and now it seems I'm stuck. G# C#m I just can't believe this started with a damn bee sting. C#m With no face he came from outer space— G# C#m An interstellar flu. C#m Now Brenda's fit to bust, what does this mean for us, F# G# And what are we supposed to do? C#m My husband's face is rearrangin; F# C#m That's not the only thing that's changin'. F# G# What sort of fellow gets rejected, F# G# Goes out and gets himself infected? C#m Y'know, I didn't do nothin' wrong, F# C#m But now I'm living in a country song. F# C#m This unexpected terror from the sky F# C#m Means it's survival of the fittest, do or die. F# C#m So if you'd contrive to stay alive, come on now, grab your gun. F# G# Havin' marital fidelity doesn't mean that I won't run! F# C#m You can say that I'm a cheatin' whore, that I haven't got a heart, F# G# But the vows I took on the holy book read "until death do us part"! N.C. "And baby...you're dead." C#m It may be it isn't right of me F# C#m To tell my husband "no." C#m It's true the vows did say "love, honor, and obey," F# G# But now it's time to let that go, C#m Because our nuptial equation F# C#m Was for a man, not an invasion. F# G# I have to trust there was a reason, F# G# This happened during hunting season... C#m Y'know, I didn't do nothin' wrong, F# C#m But now I'm living in a country song. G# C#m I don't care who sings it, it was written by Stephen King. C#m The stupid zombies killed the truck, F# C#m My husband ate the dog, and now it seems I'm stuck. G# C#m I just can't believe this started with a damn bee sting. G# C#m I just can't believe this started with a damn bee sting. G# C#m I just can't believe this started with a damn bee sting! N.C. "That is...awesome."