The Scotsman

D G A D Oh a Scotsman dressed all in his kilt left the bar one evening fair D G D A And one could tell by the way he walked he'd drunk more than his share G D A He staggered 'round until he could no longer keep his feet D G A D And he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street G D A Ring ding diddle dliddle aye E O, ring aye diddly I Oh D G A D And he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street D G A D Now about that time two young and lovely girls were passing by D G D A And one looked to the other with a twinkle in her eye G D A "See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built? D G A D I wonder if it's true that he wears nothing beneath his kilt" G D A Ring ding diddle dliddle aye E O, ring aye diddly I Oh D G A D I wonder if it's true that he wears nothing beneath his kilt" D G A D They crept up to the sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be D G D A And lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see G D A Lo and behold for them to view beneath the Scottish skirt D G A D Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth G D A Ring ding diddle dliddle aye E O, ring aye diddly I Oh D G A D Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth D G A D They marveled for a minute then they said "we must be gone. D G D A Let's leave him a souvenir before we travel on" G D A As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow D G A D Around the bonny star the Scotsman's kilt did lift and show G D A Ring ding diddle dliddle aye E O, ring aye diddly I Oh D G A D Around the bonny star the Scotsman's kilt did lift and show D G A D Now the Scotsman rose to Nature's call and headed for the trees D G D A He lifted up his kilt and then he gawks at what he sees G D A And in his drunken voice he says to what's before his eyes D G A D "Oh lad I don't know where you've been but I see you've won first prize" G D A Ring ding diddle dliddle aye E O, ring aye diddly I Oh D G A D "Oh lad I don't know where you've been but I see you've won first prize" D G A D Our Scottish friend still dressed in kilt continued down the street D G D A He hadn’t gone 10 yards or more when a girl he chanced to meet G D A She said, I've heard what’s under there, please tell me is it so. D G A D He said, just slip your hand up miss if you'd really like to know. G D A Ring ding diddle dliddle aye E O, ring aye diddly I Oh D G A D He said, just slip your hand up miss if you'd really like to know. D G A D She put her hand right up his kilt and much to her surprise D G D A The Scotsman he did smile at her and got a twinkle in his eyes. G D A She cried, Why Sir that’s gruesome! And then she heard him roar D G A D If you reach your hand right up again you’ll find it’s grew some more! G D A Ring ding diddle dliddle aye E O, ring aye diddly I Oh D G A D If you reach your hand right up again you’ll find it’s grew some more! D G A D Now the Scotsman’s hands were numb with drink and his head was spinning round. D G D A He couldn’t get that ribbon off so homeward he was bound G D A His wife she caught a flash of blue as he took off his clothes D G A D And it piqued her curiosity as one might well suppose. G D A Ring ding diddle dliddle aye E O, ring aye diddly I Oh D G A D And it piqued her curiosity as one might well suppose. D G A D Well then she asked her husband where he’d been and what he’d done D G D A He said there’d been a contest at the pub and that he’d won G D A She cried, “did you show that thing off In front of all those men?" D G A D "I did not show it all my love but I showed enough to win." G D A Ring ding diddle dliddle aye E O, ring aye diddly I Oh D G A D "I did not show it all my love but I showed enough to win."