Christmas Day Song

A A/C# Bm E7 We sat round the table upon Christmas Day Bm E7 My brother said you should all know that I'm A A/C# Bm E7 Going for a drive can I borrow the truck Bm E7 By the way mum and dad I think you're both A A/C# Bm E7 Funny, No really I love you to bits Bm E7 Grandma yelled Merry Christmas, and flopped out her A A/C# Bm E7 Tickets to a concert put on by Lou Rawls Bm E7 Grandad stood up and said look at my A D E Christmas Day, Christmas Day D E Bb You never know what they are going to sing Bb Bb/D Cm F We all went outside and were gazing at Venus Cm F Someone remarked at the size of Ur- Bb Bb/D Cm F -anus and Pluto and Saturn and Mars Cm F What's that foul smell it's just Grandma's Bb Bb/D Cm F Arsenic she keeps in a jar by the clock Cm F She rubs some each night on your Grandfather's Bb Bb/D Cm F Corns, which are painful from shoes that don't fit Cm F He feels relief when he sits down to Bb Eb F Christmas Day, Christmas Day Eb F B You never know what they are going to sing B B/D# C#m F# Then we all went for a dip in the pool C#m F# Dad said to Grandpa you silly old B B/D# C#m F# Fuckwit, you're fucked you've fucked off with me togs C#m F# Oh shit now I've sworn and fucked up the B B/D# C#m F# Song, which was never meant to be this blunt C#m F# F**k this, get fucked you're a big pack of B E F# Christmas Day, Christmas Day E F# B You never know what they are going to say