Samurai Abstinence Patrol

Cm Gm D# Bb A Cm In the tall skyscrapers of ancient Japan Gm Lived two great warriors, a dude and a man D# Who proclaimed no s*x until you are married Bb They were Arin Neverbone and Samurai Barry Cm 500 years later, two heroes were born Gm One clothed in blue spandex, the other in scorn D# They were Ninja S*x Party, they had but one quest: Bb To bring s*x to the masses, 'cuz that shit is the best Cm In a super-hot orgy with ten girls and a mime Gm Danny thrusted so hard he ripped a hole in space-time D# Each hump could be seen in the ancient night sky Bb Graphic shots of Dan's nuts were in healthy supply Cm Arin and Barry knew they had to act fast Gm They jumped through to the future 'cuz they were dicks from the past D# They landed two feet from where NSP was rocking Bb And screamed "Danny, it's your cock that we now will be blocking! D# Cm Gm Samurai Abstinence Patrol F Bb D# To control all our junk is their one true goal C Gm It's a battle for boners and rock and roll F Cm D Ninja Brian will stab them in the soul (And the face!) D# F Gm What could this mean for Ninja S*x Party? F Bb D# Will our heroes be stopped from their boning spree? C Gm And will Danny get first place in his spelling bee? F Cm D The championship word is "nomenclature!" N.C Uh... N... O... C Gm (buzzer noise) F**K IT! Cm The orgy ground to a halt and they took it outside Gm The girls just went home, the mime probably died D# Brian ran at Arin while Barry started screaming Bb Could we really have a future in a world without creaming? Cm All hell broke loose with the insane war cry Gm D# Arin soared through the air. Apparently, he can fly D#m D# Danny french-kissed a girl like he was king of Versailles Bb Brian stabbed some random guy with a different guy Cm The battle raged on 'til the city was wrecked Gm But the two sides began to have mutual respect D# "God damn," Arin yelled. "You must sure love to slam" Bb "You don't even know," said Danny. "That shit is my jam" Cm A union was formed between both rival camps Gm And they both started rocking using NSP's amps D# But the cease-fire ended and the battle resumed N.C 'Cuz Danny whipped out his nuts and the alliance was doomed G D# Gm Samurai Abstinence Patrol F Bb D# Now their tale will be passed down in sacred scrolls Cm Gm They were voted "Most Douchey" in a recent poll F C D Independently-conducted by Danny and Brian D# Cm Gm Is the story over or has it just begun? F Bb D# Has the battle for boning been lost or won? F Gm The question is a deep and important one F C D Just like how in God's name do you spell "nomenclature?!" G Here we go... D# C N... R C5 (buzzer noise) This is literally fucking impossible!