My Idea Of Heaven

C C If I were a god, I'd make a lot of milkshakes F G Pour them down on people, watch them all go crazy C If I were a god, I'd fry a lot of bacon F G C Put it in the milkshakes, my idea of heaven F G C Bacon in a milkshake, my idea of heaven C If I were a genius, I could make you love me F G But I'm not a genius cause nobody loves me C If I were a genius, I could write equations F G C I could pass the math test but I'd never solve them F G C I could pass the math test but I'd never solve them C If I crack a bottle, I could swallow vodka F G Walking into brick walls, acting like my father C If I crack a bottle, I could swim in whiskey F G C I'd forget my lover cause she doesn't miss me F G C I'd forget my lover cause she doesn't miss me C If I were a record, I'd be getting dizzy F G Spinning 'round in circles, sticking needles in me C If I were a record, I'd be wearing vinyl F G C Dressing like a rockstar, going out of style F G C Dressing like a rockstar, going out of style C If I were a cellphone, I'd call in a bomb threat F G Almost got arrested but I shot the sheriff C If I were a cellphone, we could learn our lesson F G C I will leave a voicemail if you leave a message F G C I will leave a voicemail if you leave a message C If I were a god, I'd fry a lot of bacon F G Put it in the milkshakes, my idea of heaven C If I were a god, I'd find it quite perplexing F G C Balancing the bacon, trying to please the vegans F G C Bringing home the bacon but I love the vegans