The Loo Break Song

{name: Verse 1} G My eyes have seen the glory of the return of the king, C G D7 It was three long hours of movie to destroy a single ring. G B7 Em But my bladder would be gladder if they'd melt the bloody thing, Am D7 G And bring the credits on. {name: Chorus} G Oh, good lord I need a loo break, C G Oh, good lord I need a loo break, G Em Oh, good lord I need a loo break, Am D7 G But the film keeps rolling on. {name: Verse 2} G It started many years ago, when Sauron ruled the land, C G D7 But Gil-Galad and Isuldur set out to thwart his plan. G B7 Em Young Isuldur defeated him and cut of half his hand, Am D7 G But the film keeps rolling on. {name: Verse 3} G Much later on in Mount Doom where the hobbits come at last, C G D7 Frodo gives Smeagol the finger and then Gollum gets the shaft. G B7 Em The ring and he both melted, how we clapped and cheered and laughed, Am D7 G But the film keeps rolling on. {name: Chorus} G Oh, good lord I need a loo break, C G Oh, good lord I need a loo break, G Em Oh, good lord I need a loo break, Am D7 G But the film keeps rolling on. {name: Verse 4} G Outside now on Oroduin, with lava at their back, C G D7 They're suffering suffocation and a sentiment attack. G B7 Em The Hobbits fade to silence as the film fades to black, Am D7 G And I thought that it was done. {name: Verse 5} G But the film flickers on again, my bladder gives a scream, C G D7 The eagles come and rescue them and they rejoin their team. G B7 Em A happy ending after all, at least that's what it seems, Am D7 G But the film keeps rolling on. {name: Chorus} G Oh, good lord I need a loo break, C G Oh, good lord I need a loo break, G Em Oh, good lord I need a loo break, Am D7 G But the film keeps rolling on. {name: Verse 6} G Back again in gondor and the king sings to his folks, C G D7 These many movie endings are kind of cruel hoax. G B7 Em I wish I hadn't drunk those extra king-sized Hobbit cokes, Am D7 G But the film keeps rolling on. {name: Verse 7} G Arwen meets her king and it's exactly as she feared, C G D7 She told him to get shaved, instead the mongrel's grown a beard. G B7 Em But finally, finale, and the Hobbits are all cheered, Am D7 G But the film keeps rolling on. {name: Chorus} G Oh, good lord I need a loo break, C G Oh, good lord I need a loo break, G Em Oh, good lord I need a loo break, Am D7 G But the film keeps rolling on. {name: Verse 8} G Another day, another place, we're back now in The Shire, C G D7 My back teeth are now floating and I think I might expire. G B7 Em Frodo finished his book and tells young Sam he must retire, Am D7 G But the film keeps rolling on. {name: Verse 9} G Down to The Grey Havens where the swan proud ships all float, C G D7 Frodo says his last farewells while the hobbits sob and dote. G B7 Em But my bladders sreaming "Stop the hugging, board the f*cking boat!", Am D7 G But the film keeps rolling on. {name: Chorus} G Oh, good lord I need a loo break, C G Oh, good lord I need a loo break, G Em Oh, good lord I need a loo break, Am D7 G But the film keeps rolling on. {name: Verse 10} G And finally when everybody's sailed across the sea, C G D7 I've lost the will to live and I've forgotten how to pee. G B7 Em And from the mad dash to the exits I can tell it's not just me, Am D7 G This film is...rather long. Verse 11 G Oh, great lord of the Valar, grant us all your godly powers, C G D7 Have pity on our bladders when the DVD's are ours. G B7 Em The three extended versions will be something like twelve hours, Am D7 G This film is rather long. {name: Bridge} G So when Frodo goes walking with three of his folks, A7 and joins in a quest with another five blokes, D and Gimli is telling his dwarf-tossing jokes, G and Gandalf is k*lled by a big thing that smokes, G# Galadrial asks what a mirror revokes, Bb7 Sauruman's sacked by militant oaks, Eb It's raining in Rohan and Legolas soaks, G# Merry and Pippin are puffing down tokes, A Faramir bites when his daddy provokes, B7 Gollum is planning his homicide hoax, E Rohan is riding and Theoden croaks, A And Éowyn's handing out terminal pokes, G When Frodo succeeds in the ultimate act, A D7 Just remember your urinal-genital tract... {name: Chorus} G And don't forget to have loo break, C G Don't forget to have loo break, G Em Don't forget to have loo break, Am D7 G This film is rather long. {name: Outro} G (spoken) One more time now! G And don't forget to have loo break, C G Don't forget to have loo break, G Em Don't forget to have loo break, Am D7 G This film is rather long. Am D7 G This film is rather long.