The Heartening Tale Of John Pratt

Am Dm Am Dm Am B7 E John Pratt the first, so I've heard tell, believed implicitly in Hell, Am Dm Am Dm Am E7 Am A dungeon where for everymore the wretched, undeserving poor, G C B7 E7 That underclass of sinful souls, would suffer whips and burning coals, Am Dm E7 Am The Mortifying punishments for those whose sin is indigence C F C F C D G He taught his son religiously this lesson in morality: C F C F C D G 'Let money be your guiding light Let money teach you wrong from right F C F G Let money be your only good Let money be, as money should, F C G E The golden key to Heaven's gate. From this path do not deviate. Am Dm Am Dm Am B7 E Of Hell and poverty beware.' His sermon ended with a prayer: Am Dm Am Dm Am E7 Am 'Our Father, God Almighty bless the rich and damn the moneyless.' Am Dm Am Dm Am B7 E John Pratt the second, smarmy lad, the spitting image of his dad, Am Dm Am Dm Am E7 Am Habouired only one ambition to be a Tory politician. G C B7 E7 So he began to cultivate the powerful, the rich, the great, Am Dm E7 Am Made many influential chums by greasing palms and licking bums. C F C F C D G And so in time he grew to be a fully-formed, brown nosed MP C F C F C D G And then a Minister of State whose job it was to advocate F C F G That those with little should have less to help deter their fecklessness. F C G E And when not doing that he screwed - This pillar of ineptitude - Am Dm Am Dm Am B7 E The country and his secretary; He paid her off so he could marry Am Dm Am Dm Am E7 Am The heiress to a superstore whose bank account he lusted for Am Dm Am Dm Am B7 E So Pratt climbed up the greasy pole (while slamming scroungers on the dole). Am Dm Am Dm Am E7 Am Property dealing on the side kept his coffers well supplied G C B7 E7 And to confirm his rise and rise they made him Minister of Lies. Am Dm E7 Am Then one dark day, the press profiled his mistress pregnant with his child. C F C F C D G The PM said: 'I'm sorry, John, we're going to miss you when you're gone C F C F C D G But there's one sin I can't condone, one Tory law you should have known F C F G One Tory rule you cannot flout. It is: THOU SHALT NOT BE FOUND OUT.' F C G E To compensate him for this slip Pratt got a fat directorship Am Dm Am Dm Am B7 E And in good time was made a peer, grew rich and richer, year by year, Am Dm Am Dm Am E7 Am Which proved him free from sin and vice and ripe for a Tory Paradise.