Ballad Of A Spycatcher

D C D C D G Now listen children while I sing this ballad I've just made D A C About a Peter (Wright, not Rabbit), a spycatcher by trade D G I'll sing of how he joined a special gang called MI5 D G D C D Who guard the nation's secrets so that liberty may thrive D7 G And of how young Peter, quick to learn, soon got to know the ropes D The trick of picking locks A C The art of opening envelopes D G And of how the senior officers began their working day D G D C D By trying to solve the crossword... in The Times (needless to say) D7 But of all the strange things I'll relate G The strangest thing to me D A C Is that this doggeral I am singing contravenes the Rule of Three D For Nanny (God bless Nanny) Thinks it wouldn't do G D G D C D For you to know about the naughty things that grown-up people do D C D C D G S.F (Special Facility) was Peter's favourite toy D A C And night and day he played with it like any little boy D G For bugging rooms and tapping 'phones were things he loved the best D G D C D 'Five years' said Wright 'we bugged and burgled at the state's behest' D7 G We bugged the Russian embassy which wasn't very chique D A C So we bugged the French, the Chinese, the Egyptians and the Greek D G Bugged Khrushchev's rooms in Clarriages and listened in with care D G D C D While 'K' decided on his tie and how to part his hair D7 But of all the strange things I relate G The strangest thing to me D A C Is that this doggeral I am singing contravenes the Rule of Three D For Nanny (God bless Nanny) Thinks it wouldn't do G D G D C D For you to know about the naughty things that grown-up people do D C D C D They bugged colonial conferences G D Then they turned their minds to keeping tabs on millitants A C and 'lefties' of all kinds D G Trade-unionists and studens where the targests of their whiles D G D C D They burgled CP. member's homes and stole the party's files D7 And what did it add up to? D7 G And what did it avail? D A C All this bugging and burgling and intercepting mail D Did it save us from the Russians? D G Did it help to keep us free? D G Did it keep this country green and pleasant? D C D Did it buggery! D7 But of all the strange things I relate G The strangest thing to me D A C Is that this doggeral I am singing contravenes the Rule of Three D For Nanny (God bless Nanny) Thinks it wouldn't do G D G D C D For you to know about the naughty things that grown-up people do D C D C D G 'The trouble was' said Wright 'That we often were mislead' D A C 'And the Russians always seemed to be a step or two ahead' D G 'For what ever MI5 knew, the Russians knew it too' D G D C D 'And when we knew they knew we knew, they knew we knew they knew' D7 Penkovsky, was he theirs or ours? A triumph or a con? G A C So back-and-forth and round-and-round the maisy dance went on D G While Peter set up operations Sunshine, Pigroot, Choir D D C D Dew-worm, Mole (what lovely names!) and saw them all mis-fire D7 But of all the strange things I relate G The strangest thing to me D A C Is that this doggeral I am singing contravenes the Rule of Three D For Nanny (God bless Nanny) Thinks it wouldn't do G D G D C D For you to know about the naughty things that grown-up people do D C D C D 'I fear the worst' says Peter G 'And this I can't fogive:' D A C 'For years the Secret Service has been leaking like a seive' D G 'The evidence is growing there is someone placed on-high' D G 'Who's tipping-off the Russians' D C D 'A traitor and a spy' D7 Was it Mitchell? D7 Was it Hollice (The outfit's own DG)? G 'Incredible!' I hear you say A C But Wright would not agree D His finger points to Hollice G 'I'll unmask him if I can' D G D C D 'He's ex-public school and Oxford, and I've never liked the man' D And now my tales grows farcicle G And should we laugh or cry? D A C For the CI.A man Angleton names Wilson as a Spy D G And Cecil King in '68 decides to lead a coup D G Against the Wilson government D C D So strange it must be true D7 G And certain shady businessmen asked Peter for the gen D A C To do the dirt on Wilson and keep him out of Number 10 D G And a group of senior officers tell Wright of their intent D G D C D To save us from the clutches of a Labour government D7 But of all the strange things I relate G The strangest thing to me D A C Is that this doggeral I am singing contravenes the Rule of Three D For Nanny (God bless Nanny) Thinks it wouldn't do G D G D C D For you to know about the naughty things that grown-up people do D C D C D G Now I haven't time to tell you of those other dirty tricks D A C Like the plot to bump-off Nasser (but that was MI6) D G D And of how the CI.A planned in 1965 to open up their sharky mouth D C D And swallow MI5 alive D7 G But one more thing I feel that I should bring to your attention: D A C For all his pains poor Peter never got his propper pension D G So why not buy his book yourelf and do the man some good D G D C D So he can die comfort as ex-spycatchers should D7 But of all the things I've told you G The strangest thing to me D A C Is that this doggeral I am singing contravenes the Rule of Three D For Nanny (God bless Nanny) Thinks it wouldn't do G D G D C D For you to know about the naughty things that spycatchers do