The Vasectomy Song

C Well, I went to see my doctor, G I said, "Doc, I can’t pay my bills The rent’s all spent and my truck’s got a dent C And I think I’m a-gettin’ the chills From bein’ forced to sleep alone, F Oh, this house just ain’t a home G We can’t afford no more kids My life is on the skids C Cause my woman says, ‘Leave me alone’ G Unless I get a vasectomy, C I gotta get a vasectomy G Just one little male alteration, C Can save us from another altercation G C It’s a vasectomy, I gotta get a vasectomy F G C Oh what a vas deferens it could be." C Well, the next thing I knew I was layin’ on the table G With the lights shinin’ in my eyes They strapped my wrists And they strapped my ankles C And they double strapped my thighs The nurses were gigglin’ F And I was wigglin’ most uncomfortably G When the doctor walked in with a perverted grin C And here’s what he said to me, "It only hurts for a little while Am That’s what they tell me That’s what they say, eh heh heh." C Well, it’s two weeks later And I feel a little better G And my mind is more at ease The rent’s still spent, My truck’s still got a dent C But my woman’s no longer a tease And even down at the office, F There’s a lot more interest in me G Oh, the girls all grin when I walk in C And brother, they mean to please G A man with a vasectomy, C You oughta get a vasectomy Well, like a Sunkist orange, I’ve been freed C Cause it’s all juice and there’s no seed G With a vasectomy, C You oughta get a vasectomy F G N.C. Oh, what a vas deferens it could Now here is the part that I like the most It takes the danger out of bein’ close F G N.C. Want a vas deferens it could The snipped those little suckers right in two And they clamped ‘em off with Super Glue F G C What a vas deferens it could be