Fifty

D Well I guess I'm fucking fifty Some say I'm old as f**k G Still sipping Jim Beam whiskey D 'Cause goddamn pandemic suck D I guess I'm fucking fifty No need to look it up Well I might be fucking fifty A D But I still don't give one f**k D Well I guess I'm fucking fifty But I'm still standing tall G Even though I can't hear shit D I can't see and I'm going bald D I guess I'm fucking fifty But I'm better off than you Well I might be fucking fifty A D But your mom still thinks I'm cool, woo D Well I guess I'm fucking fifty I'm through drinking and blacking out G No more talking shit about Oprah D Or fighting at the Waffle House D I guess I'm fucking fifty A far cry from seventeen Well I might be fucking fifty A D But this dick's still long and lean D A D Ah shit D Well I guess I'm fucking fifty No more groupies o-on the bus (I gotta chill) I don't hang much more with outlaws G D I spend more time at Toys-R-Us D I guess I'm fucking fifty But that's okay with me D* D* D* D* I still rock like a chair, middle finger in the air A D With my granddaughter on my knee D Well I guess I'm fucking fifty And as I stare down fifty-one G I got a million crazy stories D And can't remember fucking one D I guess I'm fucking fifty But I still love to dance D* Yeah, I might be fucking fifty (ah shit Bob adlib) D I think I just shit my pants D Well I guess I'm fucking fifty Getting old really sucks G Strippers used to kiss me D Nowadays it costs twenty bucks D I guess I'm fucking fifty But I still ain't no lame duck D D And if the critics still don't dig me, f**k 'em D* A* D* A* D They can get deez nuts, yeehaw