The Anxious Dog Song

G D Em Well I have got a very anxious dog C He doesn't like to be alone G D Em C And when you leave he loses his mind G D Em He's broken out of every kennel we bought C Yeah he tears right through them G D Em The last one he left the door on our bed C Like a complete asshole D C Yeah what you cherish he'll eat D He knows what matters most to you yeah C Did I mention he opens doors now N.C. My dog is Jason Bourne G D C D G Is that the remote you need for your brand new TV D C Are these your favorite shoes D Em You mean these that I chewed D C D And I'm gonna shit in the corner Em D C I just shit in the corner D G Go clean up my mess G D Em And lately things have taken a weird turn C Like early this morning G D Em I woke up with his paw on my mouth C D And he was staring right at me yeah C Hard eye contact he licked my face D Slow and firm wothout consent yeah D Are we doing this now C And I pick up your shit N.C. I'm my dog's prison bitch G D C I'm gonna f**k up your house D Yes I will G Yes I will D C And I'm gonna pee on your chouch D Yes I will Em Yes I will D C And I'm gonna bark at a black guy Em D C People will think that you're racist C G Yeah you'll get canceled