Pledge Drive

D D C G G A D D C I am living in an extra large box G A It's a nice big house with a TV/VCR D D C Where rats are eating all my earthly possessions G I called the pledge drive A I got the suicide hotline D D C Life's little moments in an extra large box G A Courting controversy in an esoteric field D D C Why don't the police ever obey the law? G I don't know anything A You don't know anything A A Bm Statistically likely to be wearing a shirt G G Bm A shirt so white and starched you could spill coffee on it A A Bm Statistically likely to be trying to stay hydrated (but not that hydrated) G No one is mad at me G No one is mad at me G No one is mad at me G No one is mad at me D G If woke dudes must die, I'll go first G I don't know anything G A You don't know anything D G If we must dumpster dive, I'll go first G I don't know anything G A You don't know anything D G And if you think youth has been wasted on the young and the wasted D G And so now one of us has to die, I'll go first G I don't know anything G You don't know anything D D C I am a supergrain, I'm native to Peru G A I thrive in the elevations of the Andes mountain range D D C I am arguably ruining the environment and the local economy G A And you can substitute me for bulgur wheat D D C This mob of teens with sponges is ready to wash your car G A I'm standing in the Wendy's drive-thru screaming "F**k all the transphobes" (Sir, this is a Wendy's) D D C I feel nothing and I'm 14-inches tall G I don't know anything A You don't know anything A A Bm Statistically likely to be wearing a shirt G Bm A shirt so white and starched you could spill coffee on it A A Bm Statistically likely to be trying to stay hydrated (but not that hydrated) G No one is mad at me G No one is mad at me G No one is mad at me G No one is mad at me D G If woke dudes must die, I'll go first G I don't know anything G You don't know anything D G If we must dumpster dive, I'll go first G I don't know anything G You don't know anything D G And if you think youth has been wasted on the young and the wasted D G And so now one of us has to die, I'll go first G I don't know anything G You don't know anything