Gentleman

F This old middle finger Bb F Has grown fat and tired from flicking the bird F My mouth has grown cankerous Bb C From spitting dirty words Bb I feel like a strung out Snuffaluffagus Bb F On the south side wearing Vietnamese cowboy clothes F Bb And I found out the hard way that the pathway to her heart F Is not through her nose F Bb I'm tired of being rude, ticked-off drunk and crude C F My woman can't bring me home to ma 'cause I am the dude F Bb I'm tired of swigging this beer, need to wipe off this ugly sneer C F My woman can't bring me home to pa 'cause I am too weird Bb And she wants a gentleman F Nothing more, just a gentle friend F It's getting hard to lie through my teeth Bb F 'Cause they rotted out and they're not all there F Bb I need my old man to wash my mouth out with soap F And my mother to scrub this nasty hair Bb Why the f**k is a munchkin on the highway? F Jumping out a trash can in Congolese cowboy clothes? Bb And like a deer transfixed by headlights F The bumper crushed his head while I God damn froze F Bb I'm tired of being rude, ticked-off drunk and crude C F My woman can't bring me home to ma 'cause I am the dude F Bb I'm tired of swigging this beer, need to wipe off this ugly sneer C My woman can't bring me home to pa 'cause I am too weird F Bb I'm tired of being rude, ticked-off, drunk and crude C F My woman can't bring me home to ma 'cause I am the dude F Bb I'm tired of swigging this beer, need to wipe off this ugly sneer C F My woman can't bring me home to pa 'cause I am too queer F Bb And she wants a gentleman F Nothing more, just gentle friend Bb Nothing less than a gentleman F Nothing more, just a gentleman Bb Nothing less than a gentle friend. (repeat, ad-lib and fade)